So why does a name matter?

If you’re in my shoes, it matters a lot. Few days go by without someone contacting me to make sure I got the right name associated with a try or an award. When I have done play-by-play or color commentary, it is rare to get an accurate roster for a game, and while it seems obvious to you that Player A and Player B switched jerseys, while balancing game rosters and all the other stuff that needs to be done, we can’t also be assuming the coach’s lineup in front of us is wrong.

It’s tough. But it must be tough also for referees and opposing coaches and everyone else making the game possible when players screw around with names, too.

Many teams ask their own players to register themselves with USA Rugby’s CIPP system, and that’s where things can go wrong. You see, some people like to mess with the system. And since I, for one, us the CIPP lists to confirm names, it would be nice if the names were real.

 

Meathead

The Destroyer

Mountain Boy

Hodor

 

So here are a few first names I’ve found along the way. I won’t out the actual teams or the players. 

 

RB10

Bambi

One Direction

Big Red

 

I have left out anything that smacks of a foreign first name that just translates weirdly. I also left out a couple that were just Chinese or Japanese characters. I am not sure about Hodor, as it could be a real name, but I doubt it.

 

Juicy

Speed McLighting (sic)

Sly

Beanie

 

At least spell them right …

 

Juicebox

Bomber

Rugby God

Kiki the Beach Boy

 

Really? I thought I was Kiki the Beach Boy … dang.

 

then there are the celebrities.

 

50 Cent

007

Shaggy

 

There’s a prominent coach nicknamed Shaggy, but this Shaggy is a different one. Oddly, I find myself almost always avoiding referring to coaches by their nicknames. It’s a habit I started in college when I used to call my friend Larry by the name Lawrence (only for him to say his name on his birth certificate is “Larry” so don’t be a jerk). I find, though, that I still call Wilbert Thompson by the name Salty … so there’s always a rule to break.

 

 

The Bull

Cup-Cake

brrroooooo

 

No you’re just running out of ideas. It will be no surprise for you to know that the vast VAST majority of these names are from college men’s teams. 

 

I’ll let you know if I find more worth sharing.